Like the laws of physics, the universe imposes rules about sailboats
- Pleasure paradox
- Revenge of the pleasure paradox
- Sailor’s dozen
- Contagious idiocy
- Ice box drains don’t need pumps
- Cupid aims at your wallet
- Gold is denser than water
- Sail it, don’t break it
- One sailor’s electric cup holder is another sailor’s stubbed toe
- No such thing as a free boat
- Filling the wrong hole
1. Pleasure paradox
The more time you spend maintaining a boat, the more time you have to sail it uninterrupted by failure. But the more you maintain a boat, the less time you can spend sailing.
2. Revenge of the pleasure paradox
A boat will last forever if you keep it away from water and sun.
3. Sailor’s dozen
Ask 10 sailors for advice and you get 11 opinions. All of them are wrong.
4. Contagious idiocy
The previous owner of your boat was clearly an idiot. You are the future previous owner of your boat.
5. Ice box drains don’t need pumps
Convenience is proportional the cost of maintenance, repair, and replacement. Corollary: The most reliable, least expensive, most inconvenient part on your boat is the one you don’t have.
6. Cupid aims at your wallet
It’s cheaper to fall in love with a boat after you buy it. Corollary: falling in love at first sight is expensive.
7. Gold is denser than water
The speed at which gear sinks when (not if) it falls overboard is proportional to its price. Corollary: Buy inexpensive gear, buy spares, or spend more for floating gear.
8. Sail it, don’t break it
There are two ways to use a part on your boat: the way for which it was intended, and the way in which it will fail. Corollary: The failure will surprise you because you are using the gear in a way that its designers and builders did not anticipate.
9. One sailor’s electric cup holder is another sailor’s stubbed toe
A boat fitted for daysailing is uncomfortable for offshore sailing. A boat fitted for offshore sailing is uncomfortable for daysailing.
10. No such thing as a free boat
Given two boats for sale of the same model and year, the more expensive boat costs less. The boat with the higher price is closer to you and requires less repair. The cheaper boat is further from you and needs more repair.
11. Filling the wrong hole
There are two steps to solving a problem: first understand the problem, then fix it. The order of these steps is important. It’s good to repair a hole. It’s best to repair the hole that’s sinking your boat.
At your service